Humor: When I Was A Kid...........

When
I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
with their tedious diatribes about how hard
things were. When they were growing up; what
with walking twenty-five miles to school every
morning....
Uphill...
Barefoot...
BOTH
ways… yadda, yadda, yadda
And
I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
there was no way in hell I was going to
lay
a bunch of
crap like that on my kids about how hard I had
it and how easy they've
got it!
But
now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I
can't help but look around and notice the youth
of today.  You've got it so easy!  I
mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a
damn Utopia!
And
I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't
know how good you've got
it!
I
mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the
Internet.  If we wanted to know something,
we had to go to the damn library and look it up
ourselves, in the card
catalog!!
There
was no email!!  We had to actually write
somebody a letter - with a
pen!
   Then
you had to walk all the way across the street
and put it in the mailbox, and it would take
like a week to get there!  Stamps were 10
cents!
Child
Protective Services didn't care if our parents
beat us.  As a matter of fact, the parents
of all my friends also had permission to kick
our ass! Nowhere was safe!
There
were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes!  If
you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike
to the record store and shoplift it
yourself!
Or
you had to wait around all day to tape it off
the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over
the beginning and @#*% it all up!  There
were no CD players!  We had tape decks in
our car.  We'd play our favorite tape and
"eject" it when finished, and then the tape
would come undone rendering it useless.
Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby!
Dig?
We didn't have
fancy crap like Call Waiting!  If you were
on the phone and somebody else called, they got
a busy signal, that's it!
There
weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you
left the house, you just didn't make a damn call
or receive one. You actually had to be out of
touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!!
Think of the horror... not being in touch
with someone 24/7!!!  And then there's
TEXTING.  Yeah, right.  Please!
You kids have no idea how annoying you
are.
And we didn't have
fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you
had no idea who it was!  It could be your
school, your parents, your boss, your bookie,
your drug dealer, the collection agent... you
just didn't know!!!  You had to pick it up
and take your chances, mister!
We
didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video
games with high-resolution 3-D graphics!
We
had
the Atari 2600!  With games like 'Space
Invaders' and 'Asteroids'.  Your screen guy
was a little square!  You actually had to
use your imagination!!!  And there were no
multiple levels or screens, it was just one
screen... Forever!  And you could never
win.  The game just kept getting harder and
harder and faster and faster until you died!
Just like LIFE!
You had to use a
little book called a TV Guide to find out what
was on! You were screwed when it came to channel
surfing!  You had to get off your ass and
walk over to the TV to change the channel!!!
NO REMOTES!!!  Oh, no, what's the
world coming to?!?!
There
was no Cartoon Network either! You could only
get cartoons on Saturday Morning.  Do you
hear what I'm saying? We had to wait
ALL
WEEK
for cartoons, you spoiled little
rat-finks!
And
we didn't have microwaves.  If we wanted to
heat something up, we had to use the stove!
Imagine that!
And
our parents told us to stay outside and play...
all day long.  Oh, no, no electronics to
soothe and comfort.  And if you came back
inside... you were doing chores!
And
car seats - oh, please!  Mom threw you in
the back seat and you hung on.  If you were
lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest
at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly,
and if your head hit the dashboard, well that
was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the
first place!
See!
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You
kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled
rotten!  You guys wouldn't have lasted five
minutes back in 1980
or
any time before!
Regards,
The
Over 40 Crowd


 

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